


Where I Grew

by Three_Oaks



Series: Oaksy's Prompt Game [14]
Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Benji's parents are bad people, Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Ethan is here for Benji, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Verbal Abuse, tagging strongly for caution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23411290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Three_Oaks/pseuds/Three_Oaks
Summary: Benji takes Ethan to meet his parents.Mind the tags!Day 14:Parents
Relationships: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Series: Oaksy's Prompt Game [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676299
Kudos: 45





	Where I Grew

Benji’s palms were clammy with sweat, and he held Ethan’s hand even tighter as he pressed the doorbell. He counted his breaths until the door opened.

“Benjamin. Already there?”

“Wouldn’t want to be late. Mum, this is Ethan, my partner.”

Ethan held out his hand, and smiled. His mother shook it. Benji let out a breath.

“Come on in.”

“Where’s dad?”

“He’s at Mark’s for the weekend.”

“But I told you that… It’s ok. It’s fine.”

They went into the kitchen. It hadn’t changed since he’d left, more than twenty years ago. The yellow plastic of the chairs, the pictures of cats in frames on the walls, the decorative porcelain horse figurine in which he’d hidden money. 

“You look thinner. Good.”

“Thank you. I’ve been working out.”

“Is that your work, Ethan?”

“No.”

Benji tensed. He’d told him, for God’s sake. Thankfully, his mother laughed.

“Well, it was time. So, tell me, Benny. How are you doing?”

He didn’t bother correcting her.

“Good! Good. We’ve just moved in together in a nice flat, lots of light. Work is…”

“Isn’t that a bit fast?”

“I mean… We’ve been together nearly two years.”

“I guess it must be different for you.” 

You. As long as he could remember, he’d been able to make the difference between a normal you, and that you. For one, it most often referred to him. He couldn’t say what was the difference, in tone or in the minutes details of those three vowels. Maybe there was none. Except that it made him feel small. But never so small that he could disappear.

Benji closed his eyes for a fraction of a second, praying that Ethan wouldn’t say anything, but he just squeezed his hand. Benji squeezed back.

“Those two years have been wonderful. I’m so lucky to have met Benji.”

His mother didn’t say anything.

“We met at work. Benji is by far the most talented person I’ve ever worked with. But he’s also the…”

She started laughing. Giggles, at first, then a full throated laugh. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Did he ask you to say that?”

“What are you implying?”

“Well, if you haven’t noticed yet, Benny here has a tendency to play the victim. Did he also tell how horrible we were?”

She always said that, that he played the victim. When he complained about Richard Spinney putting mud on his book, he was playing the victim. When he cried about what the boys at school had written on his desk, too, and when he’d asked if she could stop using that word.

“Benji. He goes by Benji.”

“I named him, didn’t I?”

“It’s ok, Ethan, I swear. Let’s just… let’s just move on.”

He should never have brought Ethan there. He didn’t know why he’d thought he’d become enough of an adult to deal with his parents, or why he still felt the taste of bile in his throat, like that day 25 years ago when he’d made sure they gave up on him entirely. It was as if he’d never left. He was Benny again, too fat and too shy and too gay and so, so scared.

“That’s typical of Benny too. See that? Never enough spine to stand up, sweeping problems under the rug. You should run, love.”

“Don’t talk to him like that.” Rage went through him like lightning, and disappeared. Then, there was only fear. Just a seed, but growing already, that she was right. Ethan would never run. Would he? He knew Benji, he trusted him. He loved him. Benji couldn’t remember why.

His mother slammed her hand on the table. He jumped.

“Are you disrespecting me? In my home, where I brought you up, took care of you, even after all the trouble you put us through, that useless therapy we brought you to once a week, all of that money thrown away, and not a word of thanks!”

He wished he hadn’t made a scene in front of Ethan.

“Mum, please, could we just try to get on for the weekend? I’m sorry! I’m sorry.”

Of course he was sorry. If only he hadn’t said anything, if he’d known to keep his mouth shut, she wouldn’t have shouted at him. He’d messed up. He always messed up, and he was too stupid to stop doing it. He wanted to cry, but she hated when he cried. 

“See, we do get on when you don’t behave like you were hysterical.”

“Yes. Sorry. And how are you, Mum?”

“We’re doing well.”

He didn’t know what to say. Should he ask more? Would she think he was prying, or that he should have known already? He had to say something, or she would think he was ignoring her. What did people talk about with their parents? Why didn’t he know that?

“Erm… Have I told you about my promotion?”

“You never call.”

“But last month, when we… Forget it. Anyway, it’s a great opportunity, and I…”

“You’ve always been selfish.”

“I’m sorry?”

He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t breathe. All he could do was hold to Ethan’s hand.

“Always bringing the conversation back to you. Never caring about anyone but yourself, not calling for months and then expecting us to drop everything to meet your little boyfriend. It’s made your father so sad that he couldn’t see you, and you don’t even care. Do you know what you did to us when you said you were a…”

“Shut up.”

Benji stopped breathing. His mother stopped talking. She looked as if she’d been slapped. 

“You’re a terrible person. You don’t deserve Benji, you never have. ”

Benji started remembering. His life, Ethan. Everything he’d done, all the people he’d saved. How happy he was, when he wasn’t there. That he wasn’t as small as she made him feel. He was brave. He wasn’t selfish. She was lying. She’d always been lying.

Gently, Ethan took Benji’s head into his hands.

“Benji. I love you. You’re the kindest, cleverest person I know, and this isn’t your fault. None of it. You deserve so much better. Thank you for bringing me here. We can go, now. We don’t have to stay.”

Benji started crying. 

They didn’t have to stay.


End file.
